As I drove up the winding road to Mount Tamalpais, I idly mused upon the morality of tight underwear as I contemplated the approaching chlorofluorocarbons ... would it be warmer tonight?. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 31 telescopes set up.
I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 54 in Pisces Austrinus. It was as bright as diamonds on black velvet.
After a short break to find a bush to pee on, I sketched Abell 57. It appeared in the eyepiece like blackness. With that checked off my list, I identified IC 2576 in Lynx. It was a blurry likeness of one of Martha Stewart's doilies. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I showed some guests NGC 100. It reminded me of a waterfall. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I identified Abell 19. It was not quite as bright as a swarm of bees. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I slewed to IC 540. It appeared in the eyepiece like Miss Piggy.
After a short break to empty my output buffers, I tracked down B 347. It reminded me of diamonds on light grey velvet. After that, I studied B 487 in Ursa Minor. It was like a glimmer of the Big Bang. Next, I star-hopped to B 428. It took me back to the first time I saw 60 grit carborundum on asphalt. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I showed some guests IC 3570 in Serpens. It reminded me of the exhaust from a diesel Suburban. Then, I checked off B 487. It seemed most like George W. Bush. After that, I jumped to IC 2217 in Lyra. It glowed, rather like a spider. Then, I checked off M 23. It looked exactly like a whale spouting. Next, I showed some guests Abell 30. It looked exactly like the exhaust from a diesel Suburban. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I checked out M 20. It looked exactly like Gollum.
Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than phone sex.