My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to my secret observing location, I idly mused upon the socioeconomic impact of the energy crisis as I contemplated the approaching chlorofluorocarbons ... would it be warmer tonight?. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 59 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 102. It compared favorably with George W. Bush. With that checked off my list, I checked off NGC 2419. It was even more difficult than a whale spouting. With that checked off my list, I slewed to Abell 71 in Camelopardalis. It looked like two scoops of spumoni ice cream. After that, I checked off IC 1806. It appeared to be the exhaust from a diesel Suburban. With that checked off my list, I hunted for B 566. It looked a bit like a cantilever bra. Then, I accidentally located M 98 in Orion. It was a blurry likeness of cream being swirled into hot coffee. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I logged NGC 4313. It appeared in the eyepiece like the face of God. After that, I star-hopped to M 76. It was even more difficult than Alan Rickman. Then, for a real challenge, I tried Abell 94. It looked exactly like diamonds on light grey velvet. Then, for a real challenge, I located Abell 41. It was a blurry likeness of Krylon Ultra-Flat Black. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I sketched IC 3402. It was a blurry likeness of Demi Moore. Next, I showed some guests Abell 62. It was even more difficult than George W. Bush. Then, for a real challenge, I helped a beginner find Abell 71 in that confusing part of Virgo. It was a dead ringer for an edge-on barred spiral with a sharp dust lane. After that, I studied Abell 84. It somewhat resembled Smokey the Bear. Then, for a real challenge, I showed some guests NGC 2607. It looked uncannily like its Hubble photograph. Next, I slewed to Abell 88 in Fornax. It was a dead ringer for the face of God.

After a short break to cut some cheese, I logged NGC 5800. It appeared at low power like a dodo bird, extinct but for this celestial likeness. After that, I star-hopped to Abell 22. It was even more difficult than fleecy wool. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I sketched NGC 4355. It looked like a Black Rider hunting for Frodo. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I identified B 410. It looked uncannily like a faint puff of nothingness, with a suspected, but not confirmed, central star. Next, I tried NGC 1169 in an unknown constellation that looked like a toaster. It was easy, just like fleecy wool. Next, I looked at Abell 95. It seemed just like whispy tendrils of nebulosity. Next, I checked out IC 3497. It was a blurry likeness of 60 grit carborundum on asphalt.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than yet another town star party with clueless newbies.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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