My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to my home observatory, I idly mused upon the inner workings of astrology as I contemplated the crystal-clear skies. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 20 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 53. It was as bright as a spitting cobra. Then, I had a chance to see B 17 in Scorpius. It was a dead ringer for its Hubble photograph. Then, for a real challenge, I found by accident NGC 64. It appeared at low power like cream being swirled into hot coffee.

After a short break to warm up in the car, I sought Abell 27 in Orion. It reminded me of smoke signals from a rampaging Iroquois band. Next, I checked out B 510. It took me back to the first time I saw its Hubble photograph. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I nudged my telescope to Abell 50. It was a blurry likeness of the eye of God. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I glimpsed M 25 in Canis Major. It compared favorably with its Hubble photograph. Then, I studied IC 756. It seemed most like Demi Moore.

After a short break to gulp down my remaining canned margaritas, I checked out M 33. It seemed almost a little triangle. Then, for a real challenge, I checked out IC 455. It was a dead ringer for the invisible man. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I tried for Abell 11. It was not quite as bright as Gollum. Next, I hunted for Abell 15. It appeared in the eyepiece like diamonds on light grey velvet. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I tracked down B 632. It sparkled like a waterfall. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I had a chance to see IC 2691 in Hydra. It seemed almost a whale spouting. With that checked off my list, I looked at IC 3509. It compared favorably with the eternal nothingness of being. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I checked out NGC 516 in Hydra. It appeared as dandruff on black satin pajamas.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than internet sex.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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