My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to Devastated Area, I idly mused upon the subtle beauty of Yahoo P/E ratios as I contemplated the ominous thunderheads on the horizon. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 31 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 54. It reminded me of the eternal nothingness of being. Then, for a real challenge, I tracked down M 14 in Scorpius. It was a dead ringer for the pillars of creation. Then, for a real challenge, I helped a beginner find B 9. It was even more difficult than blackness. Then, I tried IC 1162 in Lyra. It looked like that graph in An Unpleasant Truth. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I went for M 44. It would be easy to confuse with Miss Piggy. Then, for a real challenge, I slewed to Abell 90. It seemed just like cotton candy. With that checked off my list, I checked off B 290. It gave the appearance of a cantilever bra. Next, I hunted M 36. It was a dead ringer for a spider. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I helped a beginner find NGC 6067. It gave the appearance of whispy tendrils of nebulosity. Next, I added to my logbook NGC 2563. It glowed, rather like an inflamed monkey butt. Then, I tried for NGC 987 in Scorpius. It looked uncannily like a glimmer of the Big Bang. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I star-hopped to M 92. It took me back to the first time I saw 60 grit carborundum on asphalt.

After a short break to gulp down my remaining canned margaritas, I showed some guests Abell 93. It reminded me of cotton candy. Then, I glimpsed M 81. It compared favorably with two scoops of spumoni ice cream. Then, I sought Abell 15. It was even more difficult than cream being swirled into hot coffee. Next, I found Abell 47. It was like dandruff on black satin pajamas. With that checked off my list, I showed some guests NGC 3199. It gave the appearance of the exhaust from a diesel Suburban. Then, for a real challenge, I stumbled upon NGC 6956. It was better than smoke signals from a rampaging Iroquois band. Next, I showed some guests IC 1007. It reminded me of cream being swirled into hot coffee. Then, for a real challenge, I tried for NGC 5472. It reminded me of a faint puff of nothingness, with a suspected, but not confirmed, central star.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than reading observing reports.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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