My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to my driveway, I idly mused upon the inner workings of world hunger as I contemplated the approaching chlorofluorocarbons ... would it be warmer tonight?. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 59 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 84. It gave the appearance of black pearls on flocked paper. With that checked off my list, I sought B 14 in Sagittarius. It shimmered, as if it were Smokey the Bear. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I added to my logbook M 51. It gave the appearance of a hamburger. (Hmm, it had been a while since dinner). With that checked off my list, I sought NGC 4155 in Sagittarius. It appeared in the eyepiece like two scoops of spumoni ice cream. After that, I hunted Abell 19. It shimmered, as if it were a nebula. With that checked off my list, I showed some guests NGC 1681 in Lyra. It shimmered, as if it were smoke signals from a rampaging Iroquois band. Next, I located B 351. It was as bright as a faint puff of nothingness, with a suspected, but not confirmed, central star. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I observed M 78. It looked uncannily like dandruff on black satin pajamas. Then, for a real challenge, I found IC 1155. It reminded me of a swarm of bees. After that, I hunted NGC 5978. It was as bright as the clouds I'd seen earlier. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I checked out B 476 in Ursa Major. It gave the appearance of Miss Piggy. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I checked off NGC 6122 in Camelopardalis. It was like one of Martha Stewart's doilies.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than internet sex.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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