My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to my home observatory, I idly mused upon the subtle meaning of the universe as I contemplated the fleecy clouds, hoping they would clear. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 41 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 34. It sparkled like the clouds I'd seen earlier.

After a short break to find a bush to pee on, I glimpsed Abell 89 in Sculptor. It appeared to be a glimmer of the Big Bang. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I looked for and suspected IC 459. It was a dead ringer for that graph in An Unpleasant Truth.

After a short break to listen to the coyote symphony in the distance, I jumped to IC 510. It appeared in the eyepiece like a Black Rider hunting for Frodo. After that, I checked off Abell 3. It took me back to the first time I saw Alan Rickman. With that checked off my list, I identified IC 2215. It appeared to be the last six objects I'd seen. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I nudged my telescope to B 214. It looked like George W. Bush. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I located NGC 5813 in Lyra. It reminded me of smoke signals from a rampaging Iroquois band. Then, I looked at Abell 20. It seemed just like nothing I'd ever seen before. Next, I helped a beginner find NGC 3953. It was a dead ringer for blackness. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I observed IC 1678. It reminded me of ripples of water. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I checked out Abell 1. It was as bright as a cantilever bra. With that checked off my list, I checked out NGC 4839 in Perseus. It shimmered, as if it were ripples of water. After that, I hunted for B 45. It reminded me of a nebula. Next, I glimpsed Abell 24. It reminded me of ripples of water. After that, I had a chance to see M 29. It seemed fainter than the clouds I'd seen earlier. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I accidentally located Abell 96. It was even more difficult than Santa Claus. With that checked off my list, I nudged my telescope to NGC 4443 in Virgo. It appeared at low power like the clouds I'd seen earlier. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I looked for and suspected NGC 1753 in Scutum. It appeared to be diamonds on black velvet. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I observed Abell 78. It compared favorably with the invisible man. After that, I hunted for B 555. It was better than 60 grit carborundum on asphalt. With that checked off my list, I showed some guests B 110 in Lepus. It shimmered, as if it were yet another globular.

After a short break to listen to Mozart, I sought IC 613 in Perseus. It was not quite as bright as cotton candy.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than hunting with the Vice President.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

(Don't forget to hit reload.)