My observing report

As I drove up the winding road to my home observatory, I idly mused upon the popularity of my life's work as I contemplated the approaching chlorofluorocarbons ... would it be warmer tonight?. When I arrived at the parking lot, it was filled with friends eager for a night's observing. I counted at least 13 telescopes set up.

I started my night's observing with one of my favorite objects, M 12 in Triangulum. It appeared to be dandruff on black satin pajamas. Then, I nudged my telescope to NGC 6060. It looked like a dodo bird, extinct but for this celestial likeness. After that, I added to my logbook Abell 24. It was not quite as bright as George W. Bush. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I found Abell 41. It was not quite as bright as Smokey the Bear. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I accidentally located NGC 5048. It compared favorably with whispy tendrils of nebulosity.

After a short break to walk around, I hunted NGC 4225. It was as bright as an edge-on barred spiral with a sharp dust lane. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I checked off M 28. It looked uncannily like blackness. Then, for a real challenge, I found B 243 in Corvus. It looked exactly like R2-D2.

After a short break to drink a slurpie, I slewed to IC 3775. It gave the appearance of one of Martha Stewart's doilies. Then, for a real challenge, I observed M 60. It was even more difficult than a waterfall. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I nudged my telescope to Abell 31. It looked a bit like one of Martha Stewart's doilies. After that, I star-hopped to B 338. It glowed, rather like the last six objects I'd seen. Next, I found IC 1827. It looked uncannily like desert sand. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I logged NGC 2922. It was a dead ringer for a cantilever bra. Then, I identified M 39. It somewhat resembled one of Martha Stewart's doilies. Then, I checked off NGC 6146 in Camelopardalis. It was a dead ringer for cotton on velvet. Then, I found IC 1070. It reminded me of cotton on velvet. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I slewed to NGC 1253. It was a dead ringer for ripples of water. After I'd spent a few minutes looking at that, I hunted IC 237. It looked like a cantilever bra. After that, I showed some guests IC 377. It was not quite as bright as a far-away cloud. Next, attacking my personal nemesis, I observed IC 3371 in Ophiuchus. It seemed most like a whale spouting. Then, I jumped to IC 3958. It shimmered, as if it were Demi Moore.

Finally, it was time to pack up and leave. As I drove home, I contemplated the events of the night, and realized that any night out under the sky with good friends is better than yet another town star party with clueless newbies.


    ...Akkana (with help from David North, Jane Houston Jones, and Bill Arnett) .

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